♪ L ♪
♪ is for the way ♪ ♪ you look ♪
♪ at me ♪
♪ O ♪
♪ is for the only one ♪ ♪ I see ♪
♪ V ♪
♪ is very, very ♪
♪ extraordinary ♪
♪ E ♪
♪ is even more than anyone ♪ ♪ that you adore ♪
♪ and love ♪
♪ is all ♪ ♪ that I can give ♪
♪ to you ♪
♪ love ♪
♪ is more than ♪ ♪ just a game for two ♪
♪ two in love can make it ♪
♪ take my heart ♪ ♪ and please don't break it ♪
♪ love ♪
♪ was made ♪ ♪ for me and you ♪
♪ L ♪
♪ is for the way ♪ ♪ you look ♪
♪ at me ♪
♪ O ♪
♪ is for the only one ♪
♪ I see ♪
♪ V is very, very ♪
♪ extraordinary ♪
♪ E ♪
♪ is even more than anyone ♪ ♪ that you adore ♪
♪ and love ♪
♪ is all ♪ ♪ that I can give ♪
♪ to you ♪
♪ love ♪
♪ is more than ♪ ♪ just a game for two ♪
♪ two in love can make it ♪
♪ take my heart and ♪ ♪ please don't break it ♪
Nude women!
Clowns welcome!
Nude women!
Clowns welcome!
♪ Love ♪
♪ was made ♪ ♪ for me and you ♪
Hey!
I got three more minutes.
Uh-uh. Come back tomorrow.
I said we're closed, Bozo.
I wouldn't. And that's Mr. Bozo, ok?
Say, that's right.
It ain't quite closing time yet.
Hugh.
Let's not mess with me today, ok?
I'm robbing the bank.
What the hell kind of clown are you?
The crying-on-the-inside kind, I guess.
Look, I'm just an old man.
Really?
Yeah.
Let's go.
This is a robbery.
[GIGGLES]
Do you believe this?
This is a robbery.
It is!
Aah! Aah!
Thank you.
All right, quiet.
Hands on top of your head. Stand up.
We're all gonna die.
We're all gonna die!
We're all gonna…
Button it up, pal.
Nobody likes a whiner.
Don't anybody move.
What did I just say?
Huh?
All right.
That's better.
Fill this up with regular, please.
Hey, that's my money.
Don't worry about it. It's insured.
She didn't give me no receipt yet.
They can't insure it if I don't got no receipt.
Would you please give him a receipt?
And, you…
Watch the double negatives, huh?
Yes, sir.
Anybody else need a receipt?
Last chance.
OK, we're all going into the vault now.
Keep your hands up.
Let's go.
Do as he says.
This will all be over with presently.
Don't dilly-dally. That's it.
All right! Move it! Move it!
Move it back!
Do you have the key to this?
You bet.
I'll need one of these filled up from in there.
Thanks.
And I'm going to need you
To make a phone call for me… Presently.
Now, the police are gonna want me
To let some of you people go
As a sign of good faith.
The best way to get out is to stay calm.
If they want proof that I'm serious,
I'll carve up the troublemakers first.
Jesus, God!
Shh. Shh.
Shut up.
Ah, Jesus, God!
Shh! Shh!
God!
May I use your phone?
Yes.
Give up now.
That is the only door.
There is no other way out, my friend.
Tell them anybody gets near this place,
I'm gonna blow it up.
If I don't hear from the guy in charge in 15 minutes,
I'll send your thumb out through the night depository.
And thanks…
For calling me friend.
This is Princeton.
You have less than 15 minutes to call in.
Do not come near the bank.
He is covered in dynamite.
Get over there and set up!
Set up!
Hot dogs! Hot dogs!
Chief, we've got 12 people in there.
One guy heavily armed.
Bank security got his picture.
This is our perpetrator.
The hostage negotiator's on his way, sir.
Tell him he won't be needed.
Till when, sir?
Till I'm no longer chief.
[PAGER BEEPS]
To my beloved wife Carol,
I leave the house in Westchester
And the apartment on 78th Street.
The stock portfolio will be divided equally
Among our children.
David, you can have the giants tickets.
Don't do this.
It will be ok.
He… he said…
He'd carve up the troublemakers first.
Why don't you shut the hell up?
Crybaby.
[GUNSHOTS]
Damn!
Give me a break.
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
Coming.
Mom?
This is Rotzinger.
Who are you? Where's mom?
Chief of police.
Get your butt out of there now.
You know, I was in 'Nam with a jerk like you.
Oh, boy.
What's your name, son?
What should I call you?
Well…
I always liked the name Chip.
Would you call me Chip?
OK.
What was that shooting just now, Chip?
Oh, wait! Call me Skip.
OK, Skip. What was that shooting?
Well, the cameras.
I shot the cameras. They were looking at me.
Quit looking at me!
[DOG BARKS]
My God. He's barking.
Skip, we can be inside
On top of you in a heartbeat.
Try to run, you won't get 5 feet.
Tell your men one bullet could hit some dynamite
And blow up the whole street.
I've planted it everywhere, you know.
Don't you think I know how you plan to get out?
Switch on a tape recorder,
I'm talking to a machine
While you crawl out the third floor vent.
Not a bad plan,
Except I couldn't fit with all this money.
Besides, I've booby-trapped the vents
With heavy explosives.
Come on down! Dynamite! Get down!
Boo! Boo!
God, I hate this town.
Let's see if we can make a deal here,
Chip… Uh, skip.
I'd like to get those people out of there.
Fine.
I want a city bus with a full tank of gas.
I want a Harley Davidson XL-1000.
I want a Monster Truck.
A what?
And I want two jet ranger helicopters
Here on the street.
I'll get you the choppers
And the bus,
The Harley and the Monster Truck
Just as soon as you
Give me the hostages.
I'm sure no harm will come to me
Once I'm inside the bank all by myself.
At least give me the women.
Get your own women.
One hostage per demand.
One? Listen, I've had just about enough
Of your comedy, clown.
We're coming in through the plate glass.
All right.
I got to hang up now
Because I got to go kill everybody, ok?
Don't bust my chops, wise guy.
It's not that easy.
It takes time to find pilots
Who are willing to fly out an armed felon.
I don't need a pilot.
You got 30 minutes to meet my first demand.
What's your number?
259-0660.
Don't try anything rash
Or you're dead along with everyone else.
60? That's here in area code 212?
Ohh. [CLICK]
Do what he says…
The chopper, the bus, everything.
Set them up out here as soon as they arrive.
Is it a diversion or is he crazy?
He's not crazy.
He'll come out of that bank
With hostages also dressed as clowns.
He'll make a run for one of the choppers
Assuming we're afraid to shoot a hostage.
Are we?
He said no pilots. That means he's flying it.
Probably learned how in 'Nam.
Now, they'll get a bead
On whatever clown takes the controls
And take him out before he leaves the ground.
Here he comes.
He's gonna let one of us go.
Oldest first.
That makes sense: Save the one
Who will die first of natural causes.
You prick.
I'm gonna vomit.
We better get him out of here first.
No! No!
The hell with him.
It's been decided. I'm the first to go.
What?
Who decided it?
I did.
It really isn't your decision,
Mr. Adolf Hitler.
Have you got my money ready back there?
It's here.
You're the kind of person
That gets innocent bystanders killed.
[HELICOPTERS APPROACH]
They're meeting my first demand.
All right, to show this fascist dictator here
How our system works,
I'll let you folks decide
Who's gonna be the first to go.
Him! Him!
Take him! Him!
Him!
Him?
Yes! Take him!
Let's… come on.
Come on. Let's go.
Get downwind of me.
Ooh.
Sir, is human life at stake?
The stink of death was in the air.
He said he knew
How to make men sit up and bark.
Oh, don't exaggerate or anything.
REPORTER, ON TV: And so we have our first report
From inside the bank,
Our first description of this clown
At whom no one is laughing.
Ooh, now, that's original.
Steve, Jody, I'll be here
Until the last hostage is released.
Can it. Here comes Clarabelle.
Hi.
Whoa!
Ahem.
What's this?
It's just a gift.
OK, it's an Audemars Piguet
Moon-phase, 18-karat gold, alligator band.
It cost me $12,000,
But it keeps appreciating everyday.
As I say, it's my gift to you.
Boy, it is nice.
Isn't it?
I can't keep this.
Don't be silly.
No, I would be beholden.
May I buy it?
Would you take 3 bills for it?
$300?
Unless someone wants to make a higher offer.
Anyone want to go higher than $300 on this?
It's got a moon on it.
Great. And here's my watch. It's a Timex,
And the band is the Twist-O-Flex by Spiedel.
I appreciate this damn thing
More and more every day.
You…
Pig.
[GASP]
Excuse me? Pig?
I doubt it.
Think the lady protests too much or what?
I think you're just afraid
To party with a real man.
A real man who has to use a gun,
Who dresses up like that and keeps people prisoner?
You're not a man.
You're a coward.
Oh! No!
No!
She… she does not speak
For the rest of us, Mr. Clown.
We think you're…
Quite brave and manly.
You big pussy! I don't believe you.
You're all a bunch of pussies.
Why don't you take her out next?
You don't need this kind of aggravation.
[SIREN]
Hey, chief.
On the bus, we've got an ex-green beret
Stashed under the back seat.
In the motorcycle we got enough gas
To go half a mile.
We stationed sharpshooters
A half mile in every direction.
The Monster Truck?
About half an hour.
Any description of the perpetrator?
Average height and build, red nose and blue hair.
[RING]
Thank you for using AT&T.
Your bike and bus are here.
You owe me two more hostages.
They're coming.
Tell me when my Monster Truck gets here.
Toodle-oo.
You ready, doll?
All set.
Relax. I'm right behind you.
Come on, already.
Son of a bitch!
Bastard!
[WOOF WHISTLES]
Are you all right?
Let's keep moving.
He's peeking at us through the curtains.
The man is an animal…
Ripping out phones, urinating on desks.
You see what he did to Miss Cochran's shirt?
There's a scratch here.
It's not deep, but it's there.
It's ok.
Did he hurt anybody else?
Is the strain
Beginning to show on him?
"If I could sleep 10 days in a rice paddy,
"I could certainly last in this lousy bank."
That's what the animal said to us.
He says to Miss Cochran,
"Baby, up your butt with a coconut."
I think he was prepared to do it,
Except I saw no coconut.
He had no coconut to my knowledge.
No coconut, huh?
What about dynamite? Did you see any?
Any? It's everywhere.
It's on him. It's on us.
Hostages strapped to tables as shields.
The man is an animal.
He's sick.
[HORN BLOWS]
You ok, mister?
Officer Martin, take these two
To the doctor as a precaution.
Yes, sir.
The key is he's an animal.
That much is clear, sir.
So I'm repeating myself.
I suppose
You want to throw me back in there.
[HONK HONK]
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
[RING]
It's 4:48.
If he hasn't called back by 5:00,
We storm the bank.
Damn.
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
This is Rotzinger.
Can you give me a little more time?
I promise I won't hurt anybody.
I'll call you right back. I promise.
Now, where were we?
Oh, Phyllis!
Grimm.
Guys.
Phyllis, you were so great back there.
I felt like you were protecting me for real.
I couldn't tell if you were pretending.
You were really good.
Let's see Miss Meryl Streep try to vomit on cue.
Fantastic.
Loomis, could we have two seconds alone?
Sure, Grimm.
Thanks.
Mmm. Mmm.
I can't believe we did it.
Do you remember the night you proposed?
Proposed?
Yeah.
Oh, you mean the night the pipes froze
And the heat went out?
As we lay there…
Freezing, waiting to be discovered dead,
You gave me that look,
That look a woman gives her man that says,
"I blame you for everything."
Yeah, that look.
And I said to you,
"Phyllis, before we lose our self-respect,
"let's make a commitment. Let's not be the Bickersons,
"like every other couple on the IRT.
"I know a way.
"Phyllis…
Will you rob a bank with me?"
I will, Grimm. I will.
Grimm, uh…
I have to tell you something.
I found something out yesterday.
What?
What is it?
I just feel funny.
I feel…
You know, I feel complete.
Grimm, you already were complete.
If you were any more complete,
It would be a little scary.
[FIRECRACKERS]
Yes! Yes! Yes!
Whoo!
Maybe it's a bad neighborhood
For getting in touch with feelings.
Especially with a fortune in our falsies.
I got to make a quick call to the chief.
[RING]
This is Rotzinger.
Have you got Prince Albert in a can?
Feeling better, I see.
Your macho maniac is here.
You owe me another hostage.
I'll check it out.
I'm going to the window.
Tell your men to get back.
Did you have something to tell me?
I want to wait.
I see it doesn't have a hydraulic tilt body.
It's unacceptable.
You son of a bitch.
You never said a goddamn word
About a tilting hydraulic body.
We got to send all the way to jersey
For this goddamn thing.
Don't insult me.
You get me a respectable Monster Truck,
And don't get back to me until you do, ok?
[HORN HONKS]
What was that?
What was what? Don't try to change the subject.
No tilt body, no hostages.
I want hostages.
It's gonna take time
To find a tilting hydraulic body.
Well, that's not my problem.
[CLICK]
It was an accident.
They would have waited forever
To go into that bank.
Just throw me out of the car
And run me over.
I could have called them
From anywhere in the world tonight
To tell them I'm still in the bank.
Let's get to the airport.
We'll pretend this didn't happen.
GRIMM, ON TAPE: Now, you get me
A respectable Monster Truck,
And don't get back to me until you do.
[BEEP]
There it is, a beep.
Can you isolate that beep
With this equipment?
I'll try.
It could be a horn.
Clowns carry horns… little rubber ones.
Sometimes their noses are horns.
Tell me what beeped fast.
Here's what I think it was, goddamn it.
It wasn't his fucking nose.
It was a car horn.
How much time did we lose, exactly?
They won't storm the bank
Until they're sure I'm not there.
Then there's chaos
While they round up hostages
And take statements and names. Finally,
They'll realize some are missing.
By then…
Our plane is taking off?
And they still won't know
Who we are.
[JACKHAMMER RUNS]
For God's sake, shut that off!
Turn that trash off!
God, I hate this town.
Grimm, guess what.
Wait a second.
I never scouted this neighborhood.
Did we miss the expressway?
I didn't see it.
They were working on the signs back there.
Go! Go! Go!
[JACKHAMMER RUNS]
Where's Brooklyn-Queens Expressway?
Huh?
The BQE.
Well, you know,
Jeez, we don't know where that is.
Shut up!
Hey, you shut up!
Shut up!
Let's just walk through this, ok?
Does that sign say BQE?
Yeah.
OK, so which way was the arrow pointing?
That was an hour ago,
And that witch ain't
Stopped screaming the whole time.
She even had her baby screaming at us.
Let me try this.
Will you be putting up a new sign?
Not today.
Today's just taking shit down.
Can you tell us anything?
The names of a street, any street…
The directions… north, south?
It's not our neighborhood.
Honey, babe.
You've got a gun. Shoot them.
I want to, but they're fur-bearing.
I'd need some kind of permit, wouldn't I?
Thanks, guys.
You could've given us help,
But you've given us so much more.
That's what we're here for, right?
I'm glad this happened.
It's just another little reminder
Of why we pulled this thing.
Know what their problem is?
They live here, that's all.
But we don't. Not anymore.
How, uh, hot does this baby burn?
Anybody find a watch out there?
Did you really send men into the sewer?
How much time was wasted in the sewer?
Where do you guys get this stuff?
Take the hostages' statements
In the bus to save time.
He's getting farther away every second.
Oh, we're really making progress now.
I saw a sign, Phyllis.
If we could just find a landmark.
Ask this guy.
Excuse me. Sir?
Sir?
Excuse me.
[WOMAN SINGS BALLAD IN SPANISH]
[BELL TOLLS]
It's bad luck just seeing a thing like that.
Things are going to hell, aren't they?
It's just a couple guys sorting out some things.
We'll find a familiar street soon.
I'd settle for a familiar borough.
I think we're near John Philip Sousa.
That was our junior high school.
Aren't we, Grimm?
Not unless there's been
A H-bomb mishap since the prom.
Ahem.
Can you help us find the BQE?
Glad to. Got a map right here in the glove.
Oh.
Wait a minute.
This guy's too wonderful.
So?
So, definitely a felon. Dangerous.
Probably a serial killer,
Oh, maybe he's just from out of town.
He is. He's got Iowa plates.
There you go.
Where was the Clutter family from?
Kansas.
Just checking.
Say, the bank was really beautiful, wasn't it?
It sure was, Grimm.
Hey, Phyllis.
Grimm needs a little reassuring.
No, he doesn't.
He's complete now.
There you are.
Great. Great.
Thank you.
Hey, is everybody this nice in Iowa?
Iowa?
Yeah.
Oh. That's a stolen car.
Grimm doesn't seem any different to you, does he?
Well, yesterday he was just a guy
Working in the department of city planning,
And today he's a world-class bank robber.
Thank you, Loomis. You're very comforting.
[GUN COCKS]
Oh, this is a fucking nightmare.
He doesn't even know the capital of Iowa.
Shut up.
Wow, this must be my lucky day.
You got some real money here.
$4.00?
Well, I couldn't get to the bank today.
Let me give you this watch.
It's worth $12,000. I talked the guy down.
He ended up giving it to me for 300. Nice, huh?
God, are you a sucker.
Let's see what's in the trunk.
Thanks!
Bye-bye!
Oh, sir, you forgot your map
And our million dollars.
Was it Dubuque?
Des Moines.
Now can we go to the airport?
In the clothes we wore out of the bank?
Flatbush is 15 minutes from here.
We'll stop at Woolworth's.
The sky's the limit, baby.
If Albert Einstein here
Hadn't honked the horn,
We could've changed our clothes
Before they were stolen.
It was an accident, Phyllis.
You know, so was Chernobyl.
True, but Loomis didn't irradiate anybody.
Yeah.
Ow!
Grimm, make her stop it.
When I hit you, you can start worrying.
Why are you hitting him when you want to hit me?
What?
Something's bothering you.
I remember.
OK, yeah.
I was trying to tell you something…
Shouldn't we be going?
All right. Let's go.
All right. Straight ahead.
I'm glad the son of a bitch
Robbed us.
It's just another reminder
Of how happy and lucky we are
To be getting out of here.
But not Woolworth's.
We'll go to my apartment.
I've got men's and women's clothes there.
That's better. It's closer.
Take the next big left.
Men's clothes? Whose?
Barry Meyers. I mentioned him.
The guy I should have married…
A guy who wasn't certifiable.
Come off it, pal.
Thanks for getting us out alive.
The owners of the bank want me to tell you
Not to expect cooperation from them.
Oh?
I think they'll kill you with the press, too.
They say if the clown gets away,
They owe it to their shareholders
To let the abject humiliation
Of this whole thing fall on a public official.
How many shareholders are there?
Uh, just the three, I think.
But thank you very much.
We really appreciate it.
See you on the bus.
Oh, my God. Now this one's going.
Tear them down no matter how great they were.
Chief, the Peruvian connection.
The subway psycho?
The people are gonna remember
What you've done.
What's so memorable
About a clown stealing $1 million?
Jesus, we got to get this guy.
Look at this.
Why do they have to do this?
What do I care?
It's not my life's work anymore.
Hey, Grimm, you try. You're a good person.
You're caring, faithful, concerned…
Aren't you?
Where do you park around here?
Just park by the hydrant.
A hydrant?
I'll pay the ticket.
I can't believe the new tenants
Dumped this stuff here.
They're moving in on Tuesday.
We should be out by then.
Here, give me your sleeve.
Is that really necessary?
We'll miss out on the complimentary beverage.
Want to stand out at the airport?
Barry was 6'4".
Pituitary problem?
I'm gonna get me one
Of these.
Get yourself three.
It sure would be less itchy
If there's no x-ray machines.
So we could just carry the dough
In a suitcase.
Those darn terrorists
Made it tough on us bank robbers.
It's a pretty nice jacket.
Why did Barry leave this behind?
Why didn't he take it?
Too rich to care.
There's smoke across the street.
How did he make money anyway?
A terminally boring
Banker-type?
It's black smoke.
Mafia kingpin?
Amway?
Pimp?
Oh, no.
What, cops?
No, a fire engine.
The hydrant. Give me your keys.
Here, Grimm.
Get your hands up.
You must be Mr. Edison.
Get them up!
Mr. Edison, I'm Phyllis Potter,
And this is my apartment.
We were ripped off in the village.
It won't happen here.
Do we look like criminals?
Do we look like people
Capable of committing a crime?
When my wife gets here,
She'll call the cops.
They'll decide. Face the window.
OK. But it's still our apartment.
We'll have to have you arrested.
Aw, Jesus.
Grimm, our plane takes off
In 41 minutes.
Quiet!
No codes.
Hey, honey.
Ready to celebrate?
Oh, my God.
They were ripping off the TV
When I came in.
I was touching it. Kill me.
Turn around.
Oh, great. Hal.
For once it was gonna be fun.
We were gonna eat on the floor,
Drink champagne, listen to records.
Why are you blaming me?
We haven't even moved the bed in,
And already it's the same.
Now give credit where it's due, Mrs. Edison.
Hal made the commitment and gave up
The rent-controlled place in the village.
Do you know him?
He's paying 1,500 for a one-bedroom.
1,500? Try 2,600.
You… you weren't paying 1,500,
Were you?
We were paying 1,260.
1,260?
I don't know you very well,
But you're crazy
If you give this place up.
Maybe we are crazy.
We bought a farmhouse…
Near Woodstock.
It's rustic, kind of a fixer,
But the payments are 300 a month.
We just…
Had to try.
I suppose you don't believe that either, Edison…
That people would go do things like that?
For your information, I was at Woodstock.
I don't judge you, Hal.
Really, I don't.
But from Woodstock to Charles Bronson in 20 years?
Good one.
Look.
Damn it. Damn it.
Aw, damn it!
[CRASH]
You can shoot us now.
I've put the gun down.
No hard feelings?
These are the names and numbers
And preliminary statements of the hostages.
"Clown seemed harmless
Until he harassed blond hostage."
Apparently, he made sexual overtures,
Things like that.
I don't see her.
Don't see who?
The blonde. Where is she?
I was talking to her myself when she first came out.
All the hostages are here.
They're all here.
No. Where's the whiny guy?
"He's an animal."
The one that came out with her.
They were the second and third ones out.
Oh, Jesus.
The lumberjack-looking guy… he was the first one out.
In all that chaos, a few wandered away.
Lots of chaos, chief.
We got names and numbers.
We got all that stuff.
Get me the news footage
On those three hostages who were released. Right.
Then I said, "it's all over, chuckles,"
And wrestled him to the floor.
But he got a gal in his sights,
And I had to let up. That's when he cold-cocked me.
Son of a bitch.
We'll put out an APB on these robbers.
Robbers plural?
They all cold-cocked me.
Three of them out there, shouting with glee.
Taxi! Taxi!
$10,000 for a taxi!
And a blow job!
Can we just calm down a little, please?
We'll never make the flight.
We'll have to sail a raft to Fiji
Like Thor Heyerdahl.
I have made another reservation
On the 11:00 to Martinique.
You never mentioned the 11:00 flight.
I never thought we'd need it.
I don't know anything about Martinique.
What did you know about Fiji?
Nothing, really.
OK.
Did you book another flight after that?
Let's just try to make the 11:00, ok?
Why? Do they know about us yet?
Well, by now, Rotzinger
Has probably figured out
It was the first three hostages.
Oh, Grimm.
Grimm, I cannot go to prison.
Don't worry. We were disguised.
Taxi!
You never mentioned Rotzinger.
You never mentioned Martinique.
Taxi!
What else haven't you mentioned?
Everything you ever told me is a lie, isn't it?
Are you all right?
You think this is fun, a night on the town!
I think it's more exciting than that.
You thought so, too.
We couldn't discuss this plan
Unless there was a bedroom close by.
Now I realize what you are.
What am I?
You're a world-class bank robber
Drunk on your power and expertise.
Loomis thinks so, too.
Taxi!
Taxi.
I don't know
Where this world-class bank robber thing came from.
OK, I did rob a bank, but so did you.
Isn't that what we planned
For six months in your bedroom?
And now when we get a cab,
We can complete the plan
And live out our lives with a modicum of dignity.
Please, God!
We need a cab!
One lousy fucking cab!
Yes!
To the airport, please.
DEEJAY: Let's take another call.
Steve from Staten Island.
What's on your mind tonight, Steve?
I wanted to talk about that bank robbery.
What about it?
Was this clown such a bad guy?
He wasn't another one of them junkies
With a homemade 9mm.
I think he was ok.
Steve, you must be a scumbag like him.
I say, hang the clown,
Then pull his pants down to set an example.
How could he say a thing like that?
Shh!
[SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
Huh?
[SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
He's asking, "where to?"
Oh, God.
He just means which airport, that's all.
Kennedy. JFK.
I'm sorry I got so crazy back there.
What did Loomis say to get you so upset?
Nothing. He's completely loyal to you,
And you are to him.
Kind of like father and son, huh?
You didn't mention Rotzinger or Martinique
Because the plan was perfect,
And you didn't want to worry me
With unlikely contingencies, right?
I know I've been especially moody.
Not so as you'd notice.
And I know it's not exactly reasonable
To expect a lot of attention
Under the circumstances,
But…
You see…
[SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
Jesus! The goddamn airport!
What do you got, shit in your ears? Come on!
Easy. He may be a guest in our country.
Uh, friend…
Kennedy. Here, look.
"Kennedy Airport." look.
Yeah, he's got it.
Oh, great. Why don't you
Take us straight to sing-sing?
Don't say that. You're gonna upset Loomis.
Oh, God forbid!
[WHISPERING]
[SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
Huh?
It's red!
Stop!
You don't even understand colors, do you?
You don't know red from hell!
[SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
There's a real cab up there. Stop!
Taxi!
Loomis!
Aah!
[MUTTERING]
That guy must have wanted out really bad.
Loomis.
Loomis!
Hurry up! I bet this guy's dead!
You hear me? It's a dead man!
$38.82.
Send a squad car now!
He's bleeding.
Loomis.
Loomis?
I really liked him. I did.
[SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
So I says to him, "are you gonna behave?"
And from out of nowhere comes this knife.
I think it was a Bowie knife,
And I hate knives.
Dennis, the news footage
Didn't help me very much.
I wanted it an hour ago.
Where'd you get this, a matchbook?
It's perfect if you want to pick up Paul Bunyan.
It was based in part on our own descriptions.
That clown was no clown.
Knew we'd be too obsessed
By the perpetrator inside the bank
To see much more than a beard
Or a blonde or a whiny jerk.
What do you got?
Involving two men and a woman,
Here's what's up: 1900 hours…
A car containing two men and a woman
Crashed into the pierce hotel.
The passengers fled.
Dispatch a car to the pierce. What else?
That's it involving two men and a woman.
Two more liquor stores
And a laundromat
Were hit by copycat clowns.
They're probably somewhere in the third world by now.
Yes, sir. Someplace nice.
All we've got going for us is the city.
Our only hope is that they're mired down
In the same shit you and I have to wade in.
Why do I still want this fucking job?
Can't I imagine a more inspired destiny for myself?
Sir, don't talk like that.
Here's another one:
A man jumped from a moving cab
Into a newspaper stand.
There were two other passengers, a man and a woman.
He jumped from a moving cab.
That's panic.
That's somebody on the lam.
Goddamn if that doesn't sound
Like the guy who hit that car horn.
When was that?
2035.
We're not even on the scene yet, sir.
It's them.
Send all nearby units to the scene.
Loomis.
[GROANING]
Did we get the cab?
Are you gonna hit me now?
No, but if your leg is broken,
We'll have to destroy you.
Can you get up now, pal?
Too bad. He looked fierce.
[SIREN APPROACHING]
Count from 10 backwards.
10…
That's great.
Forget it, that's enough.
9…
8…
7…
[HONK HONK]
[SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
The gun!
Yes, the gun!
Hey!
Professor Henry Higgins is gonna spot us.
We're gonna go in here.
[THUD]
This ain't my dick in your back.
That's a relief.
We came…
About the money.
What did that walking corpse say?
They said they come about the money.
Ask him what money, asshole.
What money, asshole?
Incredible. They're playing games.
Yeah.
Tell him you're gonna play games
On his fucking head.
I'm gonna play games on your fucking head.
You must hate this warehouse
'cause it's gonna be a 3-alarm job after tomorrow.
Johnny, come here.
Come here.
What the hell are you doing?
I have no idea.
I don't know.
Go ask him.
Want me to ask him?
Um…
Mr. Skelton wants to know
How come he don't know you.
Gee. Because I'm new?
Because he's new?
Tell him Lombino didn't say nothing to me
About no new bagman.
Lombino didn't say nothing…
Mr. Lombino? Huh?
Mr. Lombino?
Since when does a wise guy like you
Deserve an explanation
From a giant like Mr. Lombino?
Mr. Lombino didn't say nothing to Mr. Skelton
About no new…
Enough already, Johnny.
Don't you see me standing right here?
Yeah, all right. I'm sorry. All right.
What happened to Mario?
Mario?
Somebody dared him,
So he threw Earl here out of a moving car.
Same spot he done Johnny. He must love that spot.
The man is an animal. He's sick.
All right. I'll give you the money…
Soon as I call lomb… Mr. Lombino
To check you out.
Fine. Actually, perfect.
I can hear Mr. Lombino now.
"Skelton just called me to check on Chip."
Mr. Lombino, please. Skelton.
I guess Chip wasn't so hot.
Guess I'll have to put that animal Mario
Back on Skelton.
No, wait. Uncle Mike.
Uncle Mike. Mr. Skelton. No, wait a minute.
We don't want Mario to come,
That bald giant with stupid sunglasses
Knocking everybody around for kicks.
Nobody's stupid enough to do this for a few k.
They know Mario's going to pull out their livers.
I think that I might be right on this.
6,000. Short shipment.
Thanks.
Come on, Earl.
When I first heard the rumors
About Lombino being back in town,
I said no way.
The man never leaves his haven in Nevada.
But now that I see you,
I know it must be true.
He's come to put his house in order,
And that's why the man is king.
Drugs, protection, you name it…
Lombino is king.
Tell him I said so.
Yeah. Anything that Lombino touches
Turns to gold.
King Lombino.
That's why he's the king, right?
Tell him I said so.
I will, John.
See you later.
Take care of your head.
Grimm, I never thought we'd get out of there.
Oh, honey.
Phyllis is back.
You just ripped off the mob.
You were born for this.
Oh, Grimm. It must be in your genes.
This is lucky. Let's make this.
I can make it. I can make it.
I can make it. I…
Uh! I can't make it.
I can't…
OK, I can make it.
What's that smell?
Used wine. Do you go to the airport?
Near the airport.
Great. We're on a roll.
You have exact change, right?
Give him $100.
Hurry.
That isn't exact change.
Have you looked back there?
I don't think anybody's gonna object.
I look back there.
That's why I conduct my own affairs
In a hygienic fashion.
I leave in 1 minute and 45 seconds.
Exact change, or off.
All right. Give me a minute.
I'll go get change.
I'll give you a minute and 28 seconds.
Oh! Loomis!
Aah!
Can't you kneel?
No. I can sit.
You can't sit.
Not till you pay the fare.
Whoa!
I'm sorry.
Watch where you're going!
I'm sorry. I was going the wrong way.
I just need some change.
Hey, wait your turn.
You have to buy something anyway.
52 seconds.
$98.62.
Oh, and I need a can of Maxwell House.
No, no. The decaf, over there.
There it is.
Yeah, that's it.
Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no.
Oh, you're awfully sweet to do this.
Thank you.
I can do.
He ain't gonna make it.
26 seconds.
How about this guy? Who is he?
Oh, I can't look!
I don't know. That's him there!
[YELLING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
You son of a bitch!
That's it. Come on.
No, wait. No, please, wait!
Close the door.
He's waiting for another bus.
That guy's a thief!
Close the door. Let's go!
Behind the white line.
He stole from Vince Lombino!
I got him!
Is this the one who jumped from the cab?
Yeah.
I'm telling you!
How's it going, Rotzinger?
Unbelievable.
You know him?
Mario Monetti, bagman for Vince Lombino.
Lombino. He's in Nevada, right?
Supposedly somewhere in Nevada.
He got out just as I was about to collar him.
Takes more out of this town in a day
Than the clown could get in a week.
You're sure that's the guy that jumped from the cab?
The cabbie I.D.'d him, sir.
[SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
May I ask you a question?
[BRAKES GROAN]
Get behind the white line.
Come on. Go, just go!
My mom used to do this,
Just like this.
You should have a kid, Phyllis.
Funny you should say that.
Really?
Sit back.
Well, Grimm didn't tell me.
Grimm doesn't know.
I didn't want to tell him till after the job.
Well, tell him now.
I'm not gonna tell him at all.
Don't… Don't you love him?
My sister always told me
There's the type of guy you're crazy about
And there's the type you marry,
Because if he's that exciting,
You just can't trust him.
But I told her you can have both.
And when I met Grimm, I thought I did,
But there's a limit.
I mean, you said it yourself, Loomis.
He's born for this.
I'm… I'm just one of his gang now.
Something I said,
You're gonna let that influence you?
Oh, this is all my fault.
Oh, no, no. Come here.
Nothing's your fault…
Except you honked the fucking horn.
When you say "near the airport"…
.48 miles.
When do we get there?
2230 hours.
When is that in human time?
10:30.
Say you had to walk it.
With that injured individual?
Yes. I can't say.
Make a guess.
21 minutes.
Thank you.
This isn't my usual route.
My husband's in intensive care.
You're gonna even that out, aren't you?
Mind your own business.
What did he say?
Well, his estimate,
Which I'm prepared to accept,
Gets us to the terminal at 9 minutes of 11:00.
We'll have 9 months… minutes?
How come I've heard that name
Lombino before?
You remember this guy.
He shot out his brother's eyeball
Over a plate of fra diavolo sauce at Umberto's.
I can't believe our luck,
To walk into his place
All unsuspecting.
His place?
You've walked into his places all unsuspecting
Many, many times.
He owns restaurants, bars, supermarkets.
The man owns preschools in this town.
Do you work for the clown
Or does he work for you?
Does the clown work for Lombino?
What clown?
Oh, very convincing, Monetti.
I guess we should apologize
And let you go now.
Yeah, right.
Whoa! Get over here.
Back, get back.
He's in on it, sir.
He wouldn't tell us a goddamn thing.
You idiot.
This man doesn't speak a word of English.
Come on, here. Relax, fella.
Sit down.
Didn't I tell you to get me an interpreter?
I thought you said interrogator.
[SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
That's all he says.
Give me the keys to the cuffs.
Get him a soda, will you?
Probably left your own country
To escape just this type of persecution.
Damn it. Get me an interpreter.
Don't you realize
The robbers told this man their destination?
Even if they did,
He wouldn't have understood a word.
Besides, I don't even know
What language he talks.
Get me an interpreter!
Here, fella. Drink that.
All right.
Who was that clown? Tell me now.
What the hell is this, Rotzinger?
Since when is it illegal to run for a bus?
Blufftooney.
A bus?
Yes. Since when is that a crime?
A bus.
Blufftooney.
Blufftooney?
Blufftooney.
[IMITATES BUS HORN HONKING]
Blufftooney.
Honk, honk.
They're on a blufftooney.
I don't have time for this.
Driver, I'm a little disappointed in you.
He wasn't really awake.
Don't you think we should put him on formula?
By the way, how do you feel about kids?
How can you ask me that now?
I'm sorry.
I happen to think that the slammer
Is a bad environment for them.
Hey, don't pop a stitch.
We're on our way to the airport.
Loomis is asleep. He can't do anything wrong.
Except blurt out a total confession.
Think that's gonna matter here?
Come on. Relax. We're home free.
Grimm, I'm not coming with you.
What?
Oh, Jesus!
Aah!
[BRAKES SCREECH]
Oh! Oh, no!
No, no, son.
I don't have time for this.
[GROANING]
Come on. I've got a schedule to keep.
What can I do to help?
Behind the white line!
I'll pay his fare.
Fine. You have exact change?
You better get help.
You're becoming Ralph Kramden's evil twin.
Come on, son. Come on.
Look, there's $6,000 here.
I know how this city degrades the individual.
It is appalling.
Take this and start a new life for yourself
Somewhere off this bus, ok?
You're gonna break your guitar.
Here you go.
Come on. We got a schedule.
Come on. Let's move. Come on.
We will quietly pull over and board
All number nine buses.
We do not want another hostage situation.
Is this the kind of person you are?
We lose time and all of a sudden,
It's every girl for herself.
Yeah, that's me.
If you stay behind,
You're gonna get caught.
I'll take my chances.
Why don't you tell me
What I've done?
What is it that you want?
I just want you to leave me alone.
Move it!
Today!
However,
I will stay with you a little while longer.
MAN: Flores!
Flores para los muertos!
Loomis, we lost a little time
On the bus.
Do you think
You can walk any faster?
I'm sorry, Grimm.
I can't.
You're not gonna hit me again now, are you?
Nobody's gonna hurt you.
I haven't hit anybody
Since I was 9.
Yeah, but it was me you hit.
You threatened him,
And he's been through a lot.
Oh, are you still here?
Just promise him.
I promise.
WOMAN: Flores!
Flores para los muertos!
Flores!
Was that our plane?
If it were our plane, it would be crashing.
WOMAN: Flores!
Where is the airport?
How far?
Flores!
Flores para los muertos!
Los muertos!
There must be a lot of competition
For that corner.
Thank God she's not too symbolic or anything.
What does it mean anyway, "flores porlos mortos?"
I sure couldn't tell you.
You know, Grimm.
It means flowers for the dead.
Oh, God!
We're all gonna die!
Give him a moment.
He's getting his second wind.
Wait. Phyllis can't ride on that thing,
Not in her condition.
Hold on to your transfer.
You'll need a transfer to reboard.
[SIREN]
Hold on to your transfer.
You'll need a transfer to reboard.
All right. There you go.
Move right along.
You're gonna want to hear this one.
Got something?
Damn right I do.
We're going to the airport.
I'm taking your car.
I need him to make an I.D.
You weren't even gonna tell me?
I wanted to, but when, before the bank?
Just to add some pressure?
Then what about after?
I tried to tell you several times,
But you were too busy being complete.
Grimm, I got to get this money off my body.
Don't worry. We'll get you a duffel bag
After we get past the x-ray machines.
How many months?
Phyllis, please.
They haven't boarded yet.
Let them board.
They'll pass the metal detectors.
They'll be trapped and unarmed.
I'll make the arrest on board
Quietly and alone
Before they know what's happening.
GRIMM: It's my baby, too!
This is a fairly young guy.
I've got trained antiterrorist squads
Who are prepared to deal
With this kind of thing.
I want this.
Frankly, I need it after today.
Got it.
Roy's gonna get us the duffel bag,
A wheelchair, and some skis
From lost luggage to cover your limp.
Did you give him a couple of bucks?
Try 1,200.
Scary, but Roy's sixth sense
Told him we were in a jam.
Esp exists. You proved it.
Picking up anything
From me right now?
I'm gonna get boarding passes.
Will I see you there?
I'll make sure
The Amazing Kreskin gets inside.
Now what?
Hey, clown!
Get the hell back in line.
I just have one question.
Is there a problem, sir?
Too many passengers, I'm afraid.
Yeah, you'd better be afraid.
Nobody does this to Russ Crane.
Nobody does this to Mrs. Russ Crane,
You glorified stewardess, you!
What's the matter with you?
You afraid to do a man's job?
Right through there.
Name, please?
Thank you, yes. Grimm.
Cops are looking for two men and a woman,
So let's split up.
I'll say good-bye now.
Are you crazy?
Do you think this is easy?
What did I do you didn't do?
You turned into Jimmy Cagney.
That bank was just a springboard.
You ripped off the mob,
You bribed roy,
You demoralized that guy Edison,
And he had the gun.
You stole that watch.
I bought the watch.
The Edisons will have better sex
Than they've had since Altamont.
Whatever I did,
I did it so we could all leave here together.
You think I should just be a bumbling idiot?
You're not gonna be able
To go back to what you were.
I'm not going back. I'm going to Martinique
With a million bucks taped to my butt,
Unless you keep screwing around.
We'll all go to jail.
Grimm, I'm thinking of the baby.
He'll be 3 when you get out.
Foster families are great,
Other than mercenaries or religious nuts.
He'll visit.
You'll show him license plate-making.
Jesus. Thank God you're reaching out to me
With love and understanding
Instead of trying to scare me.
It's all I have time for.
One of us has to take Loomis
And push him.
Why don't you?
The men's room, Grimm.
I'm gonna freak out
If I don't get this money off me.
Oh, shit.
Meet me on the plane in two minutes, ok?
Please?
You were hard on her.
It was the only way
To make sure in the time allotted.
Maybe you should've told her you loved her.
Maybe that was the way to make sure.
Oh, Jesus, Loomis. Now you tell me.
Oh!
All right. Just once more.
No.
Please?
No.
I'll go real fast. Please?
No.
Yeah. Come on. Now!
Oh!
[RIPS TAPE]
Aah!
Oh!
Attaboy.
Help me zip this up.
You people can keep this city!
You think you're late enough?
You must be from around here.
We'll just go have a great time anyway.
Right, Grimm.
Oh, this was not my idea.
This was not the plan.
I'm sorry, Grimm.
Give me three minutes before you come in.
You go.
Promise you'll see a doctor there, ok?
No. We were all gonna go together.
Hey, you two with the mileage upgrades,
Sit down.
You believe the filth they let into first?
Do you mind?
Come here. Loomis.
Look at you.
You have to get away now.
When I find Phyllis…
If I find Phyllis.
Yeah, I mind.
You goddamn strap-hangers
Are ruining Mrs. Crane's beverage service.
You ok, baby?
Your Bloody Mary's not too spicy, is it?
Yeah, that's my girl.
See you soon.
Get a tan.
Moisturize before you peel.
Wait, Grimm!
We can find her together.
Oh, look.
It's…
I hate to do this to you, babe.
You'll never take me alive, Rotzinger.
Save yourself the disgrace, Lombino.
It's the king.
Vince, you fucking worm!
He's come for the king.
You snake!
If you get past me,
50 cops are waiting outside.
All right, Rotzinger. My turn!
Still got another minute.
As we prepare for departure…
You creep!
I hate you, you creep!
Can you hit him with something else?
My God!
I did it with Mario, Vinnie,
When you were playing cards
With your stinking goombahs!
Nobody does that to Mrs. Russ Crane.
Quit making him angry!
It's thicker, Vinnie.
It's thicker than his neck
And a lot more powerful.
Phyllis.
Phyllis, they just caught this guy.
All right.
Vince Lombino aka Russ Crane,
You're under arrest
For murder in the first degree,
Murder in the second degree,
Arson, pandering, sale of weapons,
Felonious assault, blackmail.
Use of spouse as a shield.
Hey, Mario, how come you squealed,
Tough guy?
Screw you.
That's him.
[SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
What's the matter with Sam?
Throw him in the car.
He's just along for the ride.
Come on!
Is Mrs. Lombino ok up there?
Hey!
Angie, I love you, baby!
I love you!
I love you, Angie!
Hey, hold it, my friend.
Thanks for the assist.
No problem.
I'd like to give you a commendation.
What's your name and address?
Oh, that's great.
Uh…
Dan Chipowski.
S-k-i.
And it's 111 Astoria Boulevard,
Queens, New York.
111…
01.
OK, Dan.
Wish there were more like you.
Don't say that.
Come on, James.
Hey, it's Rotzinger!
Are you going to run for mayor?
Is this the greatest day
In your career?
Who the hell called these guys?
I did, sir.
Hey, we got to commend this Cipowski…
I mean Chipowski.